#6 (please let it be the end, really)

Mom, Dad,

I half wish you are reading this.

Probably will when my bros learn of its existence.

Doubt so when I will see to it that this is made entirely private.

OH.

At a moment like this, it should have been:

THE EXP.

SPAM #5. (can it be the end already?!)

Okay fine.

Can I just go to sleep now?

This is like me trying to talk to myself.

Fucking no sense.

Sucks to not have a worthy confidant here.

Maybe I should start ranting on google docs instead.

This feels too fucking public to go mental on.

Fuck it all.

Spam #4.

Truth is,

everything is pretty darn boring.

The post below could just be a spoiled me fussing about half-heartedly again.

What's real and what's not?

Just don't say that I'm having pre-exam stress.

No fucking way.

What's real and what's not?

Blog Spam #3.

Every time I study for these exams, I will think about failing it.

And then, to go ahead and switch course.

I'm still stuck at the same thing from this morning.

No progress at all.

This is so horrifying.

Again and again, I really am lacking interest in this subject.

The only interest I have in mind is to at least pass the exam.

And the next and the next and the next until I get the licence.

But how the fuck is that even feasible when I'm using tonnes and tonnes of effort just to gather a spark of interest to read through everything.

God knows how many excuses and happy reasons I've given myself just to motivate myself and reassure myself about this.

At the end of the day, I don't even know what the fuck is my fucking problem anymore.

And so.

Every time I study for these exams, I will think about failing it.

And then, to go ahead and switch course.

- - -

Is is a hint.

Or is it a challenge for a most unexpected future most beneficial to me?

It's not about positive or negative thoughts.

It's "this" or "that" for me.

How I wish I am a braver person.

How I wish,

the options available aren't the only option available.

'D 'D 'D 'D

Yea, gone with Fun[cc]K -- i' .UP. as anyone can see.

It's now Fun[cc]K ' D

for one reason or another.

I'm changing.

Therefore, this should change along with me.

What's the change in you?

Something Stinks!

Hey stupid blog, it's 3rd May in 15 and less.

Exam is 3 or less weeks away.

Can you tell how god damn pressured I am right now?

Most probably yes, since it's really unexpected of me to be visiting after some (reasonably long) time.

(But not as long as someone else, coughs~)

I took a nap at the wrong time - blame the ridiculously long day.

It's still god damn sunny at 9. PM.

Woke up when it's 10PM.

There goes dinner.

No, I can't possibly cook at that time.

Because, I've decided that I would start focusing on my revisions as soon as I wake up.

So I did.

Jammie Dodgers are what I'm jamming into my mouth right now to fulfill my stomach.

Hopefully.

Really, the whole point of this post is:

"IS IT HUMANLY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO FINISH READING THROUGH EVERYTHING IN 2 WEEKS?!?!?!?!?!?!

EXAMS MAKE ME FEELS LIKE AN IDIOT.

I ALREADY BELIEVE I AM ONE.

IN MANY WAYS.

(SUCH AS THIS)

THANK YOU."

Good luck to all of you who will be taking an exam soon!

I do have a regret!

Got stirred up again.

Yea, not a pleasant feeling.

When will I really let it go eh.

& & &

Fortunately, I got the joy of punching a sandbag today.

This, seriously, made my day!

Coz I sweated!

(and skipped the dance practice.)

HAHAHA.

I'm surprised no one (except one) really came asking for me to get my ass back in there.

Or I was appearing too mental again.

Which I was not, really!

The sight of a sandbag just automatically took over my better conscience.

I don't regret it though.

:D

Sorry about me doing more and more unpredictable - maybe, maybe not - things.